L's hand
by Eiri and Kurama lover07
Summary: L has figured out Light is Kira or has he? How can he when not even Light knows? Light/L. Warning spoilers: L's real name. Chapter 2 now up. sorry for the wait.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first posted fanfic on this site please be kind.

Warning: I wrote this while extremely pissed off and wanted to kill someone, so in an attempt to keep myself out of prison, I took my rage out on Death Note characters.

Rated M : For violence, mental and physical abuse, and maybe yoai, not sure at this point.

A/N 2: This is most likely an one-shot unless it is well liked then I will extend it to however long I can think shit up. Oh yeah, in this fic Light does not have his memories of ever being Kira, this will explain the ooc way Light is acting.

Please review, thanks. EiriandKuramalover07.

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"You are Kira,"

The blood in Light's body ran cold at the smirk that crossed L's normally emotionless face.

"I am not Kira! What do I have to do to prove to you I'm telling the truth?" Light yelled, quite fed up with being accused of being a mass murderer, he couldn't be right? Light was beginning to doubt himself at this point. Then holes in his memories not helping his resolve.

"You claim your not Kira? Well then you will have to do something very unlike Kira, something Kira would never do under any circumstance, even death," L stated, his voice dark and ominous.

"What? Tell me what to do! I will do anything!" Light exclaimed.

The usually blank, black eyes glinted in the light cast by the computer screens and other equipment in the task force room, whose only occupants at the moment were Light Yagami and L Lawiet.

"Get down on your knees," L said bluntly.

Light mouth hung open in shock and for the first time his mind blanked, and he could not think of anything to say or do.

"Come now Kira-kun such an expression is unbecoming of a self-proclaimed God like yourself." L's smirk turned back to his usual stoic expression. "I do not usually repeat myself so consider yourself lucky and be grateful Kira. I said on your knees before me Kira. KNEEL!" L yelled out the last part, his typical voice a few octaves higher.

Light stared dumbly (A/N: Yeah I know like that would ever happen) at L, disbelief clearly written across his features. Lights brain betrayed him and shut down. Staring dumbfounded, the spark in his eyes diminished and without a word Light dropped to his knees before the world's top three detectives.

Shock crossed L's features for a fraction of a second before his years of self control kicked in and his face became once again unreadable. L was about to speak again, but Light beat him to it.

"What else do you want me to do Ryuuzaki?" Light asked in a broken tone.

L thought carefully about what to say, he knew Kira would not have dropped to his knees not for L, and at least not as quickly without some devious intent. The percent of Light being Kira decreased from 99.9 percent to 96.9 percent. Now that L doubted himself he grew angry and frustrated with Light, though he did not show it. He wanted to make Kira squirm. He wanted to hear him BEG!"

"Your act does not deceive me Kira-sama, grovel at my feet! Grovel like the filthy murderer you are!" L was having trouble controlling himself, he cursed Kira silently.

Light's face scrunched up and he could not meet L's eyes anymore. He set his palms on the floor and crawled to L's feet. He stayed there, bowing before him.

Light's compliance was really beginning to piss L off. This was not suppose to happen! L's theory was being more disproved by the second. L grabbed Light's reddish brown hair and yanked his head up to his. They stared at each other for a moment, pain dancing in Light's eyes, while the onyx eyes of L showed anger and disgust. L suddenly slammed his lips against Light's hard enough to make their teeth clink together.

L yanked away just as quick as it had started.

"What the hell are you doing to me Kira!?" L screamed into the younger mans face. He in a rare state of rage cocked his fist back. Light shut his eyes when he saw L preparing to hit him. Without meaning to Light let out a whimper of fear escape his throat. Light waited, eyes clenched shut and body tensed preparing for the blow. But the blow did not come. Slowly Light opened his tear filled amber eyes to see what was happening. Why had L stopped?

L and Light stared at each other, L just couldn't do it. Not after the shallow sob came out of Light's throat and now tears down his face._ 'Light is not Kira! Or at least not anymore'_ L's mind screamed at him.

(A/N: At this point my anger has gone away and I do not feel the need to subject Light-kun to anymore pain.)

"Light-kun…" L said softly, his voice nearly cracking. What had he done.

Light's head snapped up from the hung position it had fallen after L had released his grip on his hair. Light gasped when he saw for the first time the wet lines on L's cheeks, showing tears had ran there.

"I'm sorry Light-kun." L never apologized or if he did, he had definitely not meant it. Now he did, he meant it with every fiber of his being. Light was his first friend, no correction his only friend. Watari was more of a father than a friend. But now L had royally fucked up everything. What horrible things he had done to the person who at one time had called him, L, a friend.

"You called me Light…" Light trailed off as if lost in his own thoughts.

"That's because," L tried to explain but was cut off harshly.

"Why not Kira? Huh? Why Not?!" Light's eyes blazed with rage before he broke down sobbing. Light surprisingly latched onto L's shoulders and cried against L's pale skin. "Why L? Why did you do this to me? I LOVED YOU!" Light sobbed harder as L stood there in shock.

"Light…" L mumbled, dropping the honorific. He brought his hands up and wrapped them around Light's forearms. L pulled the boy up and quickly wound his arms around the younger man's waist and pulled him closer. "Please forgive me, please don't stop being my friend…" Lawiet said as he took Light's face into his hands and once more placed his lips against Light's, but this time it felt so right.

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A/N: So what did you think? Should I continue? Please R and R.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed, I am glad it's liked. I hope to update often but I type really slow, it's takes me an hour to type one page. Heads up this is a yoai, man on man, if you don't like please do not read, go else where for a story, I do not wish to offend. There will be lemons, in chapter three. There will be more drama and angst, not just romance… It will get gory, but not until later on. Now that I've rambled… On to chapter two. Yay!

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Light pulled away first this time and backed away from L.

"What are you doing Ryuuzaki?" Light shook his head. He was very confused.

"I was kissing you Light-kun," L said, not understanding what the problem was.

"I know that Ryuuzaki! Why were you kissing me?" Light was fuming by this point. For a genius L could be really dense.

"Because I want Light-kun to stay my friend," L stated in a matter-of-fact way.

"That's the reason?" Light wanted to frown and yell at L but now that his brain was working properly, it would not allow such things to be seen. So light just kept an impassive look on his handsome face.

"Is friendship not a reason to kiss you?" L put a thumb to his lips and his blank eyes wandered to the ceiling as he thought about it.

Light couldn't help the scoff that escaped.

"Light-kun, do you not wish to remain my friend? Is that the reason you do not wish to kiss? If this is the case I completely understand. However I wish for you to know I will always yearn for your friendship." Light held back another scoff and also a sigh as L reverted back to his normal, annoying self.

"L… I…" Light cursed himself for his inability to say what he wanted, he was a genius, he should not fear the reaction of anyone.

"Yes Light-kun? You have my undivided attention now," L said. Light glanced at the detective and resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the crouched figure who was currently nibbling his thumb. At this rate he was going to bite through the skin.

"To tell the truth, the first kiss we shared was horrible and cruel, however the second one wasn't so bad… I also wouldn't mind doing it again. If this is to happen though, we cannot remain friends," Light tried not to blush at the confession, but was unsuccessful as a light pink blush powdered his upper cheeks.

"But Light-kun wouldn't it be at least a little awkward if we kissed and weren't friends?" L asked, his normal socially retarded self.

At this Light let out a long sigh.

"I meant more than friends…"

"Light-kun, I'm afraid I do not under…" L's sentence cut off abruptly as he finally got it. "You wish to become lovers?" L's mouth was hanging slightly open, his thumb momentarily forgotten.

"Well if you don't want to…" Light trailed off not looking at L any longer. Moments later hands cupped his cheeks and turned his head. Onyx eyes clashed with amber for a minute before L spoke.

"Yes… I do Light-kun," L took this moment to fuse his lips to Light's. They stayed like this for a moment before it turned more serious. L pressed his mouth more insistently, Light moaned softly and L though experienced instinctively used the opportunity to dart his tongue out and massaged Light's. Light moaned again a little more loudly and threw his arms around Ryuuzaki's neck, who was surprisingly an inch taller than Light when standing straight. Both men eagerly explored each other's mouth tenderly. Tasting and memorizing every detail. After a few more moments they broke apart, gasping for air. They stared into each other's eyes, lost in the passion they shared.

"L… I," Light started, but a finger to his lips cut him off.

"Shh… Light-kun I want you to know…"

"What L?" Light looked at the detective expectantly, hope showing in his eyes.

"I care deeply for you. I do not know if this feeling is love, but I know I feel something," L explained.

"It's okay that you don't love me, it's nice to know you feel something," Light said honestly, happiness radiating from him.

"Light…" L dropped the honorific again. "You should not love me. I did such horrible things to you. I don't deserve-"

"Shut up!" Light spat at L, his face twisted into an upset expression. "I do and always will love you!" With that said he forced their mouths back together and fought for dominance. L fought back for a moment before admitting defeat and allowed Light complete control. They clung to each other desperately as their tongues danced with each others. L, after leaning in to increase the friction a little broke the connection at their mouth's.

"Light… I have never done anything like this before, I had never found anyone of either gender desirable, so I've never…" L's face turned a little red and he cleared his throat.

"So you're a virgin?" Light asked, smiling at the blushing detective.

"Yes… I'm sorry," L said adverting his gaze to the floor.

"What are you sorry for? You do not have to apologize for being an virgin." Light was tempted to laugh.

"No… I should know what to do at my age, for God's sake I'm older than you!" L insisted.

"It's okay, really. But if you ever require assistance with that particular problem, please allow me," Light gave an almost sadistic smirk at the insomniac.

"Well… I do want… You in that sense I suppose, but… I… Uhh," L struggled to speak.

"Ryuuzaki, its fine that your nervous or scared, I would wait forever for you to be ready."

"I don't think I could wait that long for you Light-kun," L returned the evil, seductive smirk. He felt better after Light's reassurance.

"You speak pretty perverted for someone so inexperienced." As Light said this he ran one of his hands down the curve that was L's backside. L let a small yelp of surprise and shivered as Light's hand lingered for a moment. "Eager aren't you?" Light grinned while L's face flushed and he looked away.

"You are rather excited as well Light-kun." L gave a knowing smile before he lightly grazed the front of the younger man's pants and felt Light's excitement himself.

"L!" Light exclaimed while blushing furiously. "Please-" Light had started to say something, but was promptly silenced when L gave a soft squeeze. Light leaned a little closer to L without meaning to. He rested his head on L's shoulder when the detective moved his hand against the bulge. L teasingly took his other hand and intertwined it in Light's hair. Light gave a low moan when L tightened his hold with both of his hands. "Stop L," Light hissed between clenched teeth. Immediately L removed his hands and stepped back from Light.

"Is something the matter? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?" L shot off a bunch of questions before Light could respond to the first one. Light put a hand over L's mouth to silence his rambling.

"Listen to me L. No, you did not hurt me. No, you did nothing wrong. But yes, there is something wrong…" Light smiled sweetly and removed his hand. "If you do not cease and desist I will not be able to control myself, and that's a promise," Light husked the last part directly into L's ear.

L flushed and let his gaze rest on one of the still recording cameras. "What if I do not wish for you to control yourself Light?" L tried to sound confident and seductive but to no avail, Light could still hear the under lying hesitation.

"No, I think we should wait for a while…" At this moment Light finally realized where L's eyes were, his own narrowed. "Ryuuzaki, are those cameras and bugs still recording?"

"Yes, of course,"

"Watari is watching the video feed and listening as we speak, isn't he?" Light felt like grinding his teeth from the effort it took not to yell.

"Most likely, the percent Watari is watching is about ninety-seven. I say this because there is a three percent chance he tool the day of as instructed," L said, back to his normal calculating self.

"So is that how you got everyone else out of here for the day, you gave them the day off?" Light asked, still quite a bit uncomfortable with everything Watari had most likely seen and heard.

"Precisely, I also gave them the day off not only to get you alone but because they deserve one," L stated, once again nibbling his thumb.

"I suppose they all do work very hard," Light agreed quietly. "Umm Ryuuzaki?"

"Yes Light-kun?" l raised an inquiring eyebrow at the younger, yet equally brilliant man.

"Do you think Watari will tell any of the other task force members?" Light's face was holding a pink glow.

"Do you wish for me to instruct Watari not to say anything not concerning the Kira case to the other task force members?" L waited patiently for Light to answer.

"Yes…" Light couldn't look at L anymore, so he adverted his attention to a small water damage spot on the ceiling.

"Are you ashamed of your feelings towards me Light-kun?" L asked, he almost dreaded the answer. The question made Light's head snap back to the detective. L mildly wondered if the youth gave himself whip-lash.

"No! Of course not, its just my dad… He is kind of homophobic and I don't want him to say or do anything stupid towards you or in general," Light hastily explained, he never wanted L to think he was ashamed about loving him.

"Very well then, I will ask Watari if he will refrain from saying anything unKira related to the task force members," L said before over to a phone. He picked the receiver with his index finger and thumb and held it like a bug. Holding it near, but not touching, his ear he dialed Watari's room number. L would have called his cell but just encase he did take the day off he did not want to disturb him. Light held his breath as L stood there waiting for Watari to answer. After a few more seconds, that felt like hours to Light, L hung up the phone and frowned.

"Is something the matter Ryuuzaki? Why didn't Watari answer?" Light was worried by this point.

"Well Light-kun it would appear that as low as the percentage was, Watari oddly must have taken the day off." After L spoke he started towards the door, which in turn pulled the chain that connected them. Light wondered, not for the first time, where the hell L got a three meter chain from.

"where are we going Ryuuzaki-San?" Light fought back a yelp of surprise when the chain gave a rather forceful tug as L when out the door and rounded the corner. Light waited for L to answer as he followed silently, he of course shut the door after himself. After a few more moments of silence as they both walked down the hallway, L spoke.

"Light-kun I am not Japanese so I do not need an honorific on tehe nd of my name, and please call me L. Second we are going to retrieve the tapes so that Watari or anyone else besides us never see them," L spoke softly, as if afraid that someone could possibly over hear him.

"Really, I can call you L?" Light inquired quit awestruck.

"Have you ever known me to joke?" L looked back a small smile twitched on his face before his expression turned back to normal.

"Well it wouldn't hurt to try sometime…" Light trailed off as they continued walking.

They entered the elevator and L pressed the button for the floor beneath them. A moment later they stepped out into a hallway that looked identical to the one they were previously occupying.

"Do all the floors in this place look the same?" Light asked.

"More or less," L responded.

They walked for about another minute before L abruptly stopped, nearly making Light walk into him.

"Something the matter L?"

"Yes,"

"What? What could possibly be wrong?" Light questioned.

"It would seem that I have developed a sense of humor Light-kun," L said in a dark tone.

"What? Why do you say that?" Light was becoming rapidly confused.

L turned to him with a smirk and pointed to his left. Light looked over as L said, "We're here," L was amused by the look of relief that flooded Light's face. Light fumed as he looked at L and noticed how the man's lip twitched in effort not to laugh.

"L," Light started grimly. "How much is it going to raise my percentage of being Kira if I said sometimes I really want to punch you?"

"Twenty-seven," L stated calmly.

"WHAT?!"

"Calm yourself Light-kun… I was merely… Joking," L tried to stifle his laughter, but to no avail as a low chuckle slipped out anyway. At the melodic sound Light momentarily forgot why he way mad.

"Joking," Light said slowly. The word sounded alien to describe L.

"Yes Light-kun, as in ha ha," L said, his lip twitching again. "And do not worry, I often get the urge to kick you too," L added as an after thought.

"Can we just go in and get the tapes, please L?" Light sighed. "I'm beginning to get a headache and would like to go lie down,"

"I thought the headache excuse was something women used," L just couldn't stop now.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Did you take some drugs while I was looking the other way?" Light huffed, frustrated.

"No nothing is wrong with me and I took no illegal substances. I want to, what do they call it? Oh yes, fuck," Half of L's face was jerking by this point.

Light got a nose bleed as his brain processed what was said to him. He gasped out a strained sounding, "What!?"

"Once again, joking, lets go in shall we," At that L turned away, rolling in laughter on the inside, and unlocked and opened the white door that had a small black **W** on it.

"Have I ever mentioned your sadistic L?" Light muttered quietly.

"No I do not believe so, aside from now that is," L said, starting to sound like L typically would.

"Let just get the tapes and go L please," Light then did something he would never admit to, he pouted.

L looked at him strangely as they walked through the dimly lit room. The room itself was set up like L's but with surprisingly more equipment. L continued to stare at him, seemingly oblivious to Light's discomfort. Finally Light had enough of those empty eyes examining him, he snapped.

"Care to explain what exactly you are so rudely staring at?" Light growled out.

L blatantly ignored him and walked over to a huge machine with about three hundred different tape slots. After pushing a few buttons, six tapes popped out and L replaced them with blank ones.

"Lets go Light-San," L said in a colder voice. L began briskly walking away, forcing Light to follow. They exited the room swiftly and it seemed L nearly jogged down the corridor, he dragged Light behind him without a look or a word. L did not slow until they reached the elevator. Stepping inside L pressed the button immediately, hardly letting Light inside before the doors began closing.

"What is wrong with you? One minute your joking around and if that's not strange enough, the next moment your acting as if you bi-polar and ignoring me," Light demanded. L stayed silent. Light started to grind his teeth. The elevator dinged and they got off. "L when you agreed to be with me, you also agreed to share thing so with me. We are supposed to be open with each other!" L kept walking at his brisk pace. Finally L spoke, though it was not what Light wanted to hear.

"It seems maybe I will have to reconsider my decision to be your lover, I did not completely understand what it entailed," L shot at Light coldly. Light went into shock, it felt like L had become a giant clawed monster that ripped out his heart and squeezed it in front of him. He choked back a sob, Light would not allow L to see him cry. No cry was the wrong expression for it, break down and cling to the detective's leg while sobbing and begging in incoherent mumbles was more accurate. This Light's brain, as well as ego, would not allow. Somewhere in the back of his mind a voice he barely recognized said _'When did you become such a girl, some God'_ Light shook his head and wonder where that came from. He couldn't remember a time where he had thought himself to be a God. When they reached shared rooms, also known as the task force headquarters, Light finally spoke.

"Why?" Light asked in a soft voice, he tried to keep the pain hidden.

"You are nothing but a distraction, how can I catch Kira when all I've been thinking of is you!?" As L had spoken his voice had risen.

At the harsh words tears rolled lazily down Light's cheeks.

"I'm sorry L… Unlock the handcuffs so I can leave," Light's voice broke and a sob racked his body.

"I cannot, there is still a small, a very small chance you are Kira," L said, this time without the frost clouding his voice.

"Then give me a fucking knife so I can kill myself! Will that make you happy? Then you will know I am not Kira, and you won't have anymore distractions!" After screaming that into L's face Light dropped to his knees. While hugging himself he tried to sob quietly, he rocked back and forth, eyes fixated on the floor, streaming tears.

At that moment all L felt in his entire body was disgust. Not at Light, but at himself. The heart wrenching scene before him was not what he had intended to do with his words. Hell, L couldn't even remember what he had intended. All L knew was he had felt fear and his brain when on auto pilot. He had feared getting hurt. But he was ultimately the one who did the hurting every time.

'_Now who has the higher probability of being Kira… I fit the bill better than him'_ L thought bitterly.

"Light, please stop crying," L commanded in a strong, yet gentle voice. I will explain everything to you, please come with me,"

Light stopped sobbing and looked up, the tears never ceasing to leak form his eyes. L's hand was being held out to him. While his brain yelled at him not to be a fool, his heart screamed louder to take it. He loved L too much. Taking L's hand, the fore mentioned detective helped him to his feet. Without a word and with hands still linked together L lead Light into another room.

"Light, I am sorry. I will explain everything," L said softly Light nodded and squeezed L's hand, L squeezed back.

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END CHAPTER 2

End A/N: Umm okay, I ended there because if I didn't it would have gone on for a while and I wanted to save the smut for chapter 3. Sorry if the characters are OOC, I'm not smart enough to make this twisted plot work and still have the characters act like themselves. Thanks for reading.


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